Politics: 'I was going to try and kill a lot of people': A father opens up about how he almost committed a school shooting as a kid — and what kept him from doing it

A man who had led a troubled adolescence says there were two things that stopped him from carrying out what would have been the greatest mistake of his life.

• A Colorado man wrote a heartfelt open letter in which he talked about how he almost committed a mass shooting in his teens.
• He said that the main reason he did not carry out the attack was a lack of access to assault weapons, and a random act of kindness from a friend.
• "I had a severe lack of love, and I really think this kid did too," he told MSNBC, referring to 19-year-old Florida shooter Nikolas Cruz.

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"I was almost a school shooter," Colorado resident Aaron Stark wrote in a letter to local news station KUSA. "I am not a school shooter because I didn't have access to guns."

In the letter, Stark admits that as a teenager in 1996, he had made plans to commit a mass shooting at North High School in Denver, Colorado, and to then take his own life. The only thing that stopped him was a lack of easy access to high-powered guns.

"Guns don't kill people, people kill people," Stark wrote, "But people with guns kill lots of people."

Stark's letter describes a rough childhood in which he was abused and neglected at home, and faced relentless bullying at school for his weight, his smarts, and his frequently unwashed clothes.

Depressed and homicidal, Stark stated that that he felt he had nothing to live for.

"When someone has nothing to lose, they can do anything, and that thought should be terrifying," he wrote.

"I was going to try and kill a lot of people and then kill myself," he said during an emotional interview on MSNBC on Tuesday. "It was not directed at the people, it was directed at myself."

Stark told MSNBC that while Wwe need to have a hard look at the effect that guns have," he believes that ultimately only love and connectedness can help stop people like Nikolas Cruz before they commit mass shootings.

"So yes, mental health was an issue," he said. "A bigger issue was love. I had a severe lack of love, and I really think this kid did too."

Cruz, like Stark, had had a troubled upbringing, and felt disconnected from his home life. Cruz, who was adopted, had been staying with family friends after both of his parents passed away.

When asked whether love alone had been enough to stop him from acting out on his homicidal and suicidal feelings, Stark gave a startlingly personal story to share.

"It literally did," Stark said tearfully. "That is literally what happened that stopped me from carrying out my plan. It was that I couldn't find a gun. That is true. ... I was extremely suicidal one evening, and a friend of mine without having any idea that that was going on and what state I was in invited me over for a party that I didn't know was existing. She had baked me a blueberry peach pie, and I got there and everybody had the pie, and it was all for me... And that literally saved my life that night. I wasn't going to survive that night if that hadn't happened."

Watch Stark's interview here:

A man who had led a troubled adolescence says there were two things that stopped him from carrying out what would have been the greatest mistake of his life. Read Full Story