In Ghana, recently a debate over graduation gifts captured public attention on radio, social media, and in everyday conversations. Some parents presented their children with cars, money, and other expensive gifts during their graduation from senior high schools. The issue generated mixed reactions, with many arguing that such displays placed unnecessary pressure on other students and their families.
Some observers saw these gifts as an attempt to display wealth. But can we really blame them?
Perhaps, for some parents, it was not about showing off. It was their way of saying, “I have cared for my child. I have fulfilled my responsibility.”
This article is not intended to justify parents who go beyond their means or make decisions that may not always be in the best interest of their children. Rather, it seeks to highlight an uncomfortable truth about parental responsibility in Ghana: many parents feel pressured to prove themselves and meet society’s expectations of what a “good parent” should be.
Parental responsibility is one of the noblest responsibilities in life. When carried out with love, respect, and mutual support, it strengthens families and helps children to grow into responsible adults. In reality, however, many parents face challenges beyond their control.
Financial hardship, demanding jobs, and the fear of being labelled irresponsible place enormous pressure on parents. The expectation to provide at all costs has driven some into debt, while others feel discouraged because they cannot meet society’s standards.
In some families, disagreements over financial support have led to court cases, separation, and even broken marriages. During divorce or separation, some parents are denied access to their children because they are considered unable to provide enough financially. While every situation is different, judging a parent’s commitment only by financial ability can deepen emotional pain and weaken family relationships.
The pressure can have even more painful consequences. Some people make difficult decisions about parenthood because they fear they cannot provide for a child. Others place their children in the care of relatives or other people because of financial hardship. Such decisions are often influenced by poverty, emotional stress, and the fear of social judgement.
Planning
Responsible family planning can help reduce some of these pressures. Having the number of children a family can adequately support enables parents to provide better care, attention, and opportunities.
Esther Adinorkie Lawerteh, Health and Environmental Officer of the Volta Resilient Foundation, has cautioned parents against sending their children to live with other people because of financial difficulties. She warned that such decisions could expose children to exploitation, abuse, neglect, child labour, and trafficking.
Speaking to the Ghana News Agency, Madam Lawerteh stressed that parents have the primary responsibility to care for, protect, and guide their children regardless of their economic situation. She therefore encouraged responsible family planning and urged parents facing financial hardship to seek help from relatives, community leaders, social welfare institutions, and other support programmes instead of giving out their children.
Her message is an important reminder that protecting children is a shared responsibility, but parents should not have to carry that responsibility alone. (www.myjoyonline.com, 2026)
Today, some people regret becoming parents, while others may be afraid to have children because they fear they may not be able to meet society’s expectations of what a “good parent” should be.
I have seen some parents enrol their children in private schools they could not truly afford, only to transfer them later to government schools because they could no longer keep up with the fees. In many cases, this was not because they did not care about their children.
Somewhere along the line, they begin to believe they must prove they are caring parents through what they can provide.
But can we really blame them?
When the pressure to prove one’s worth becomes greater than recognising commitment and gradual progress, people may be pushed beyond their limits simply to gain society’s approval.
Fatherhood
This pressure is often felt more strongly by fathers because, in many Ghanaian homes, they are expected to be the main providers.
While financial provision is an important part of fatherhood, it should not be the only measure of a man’s value. A father’s love, guidance, presence, sacrifice, and commitment are equally important.
Unfortunately, many men are judged almost entirely by their economic contribution to the family. When they experience unemployment, illness, or financial hardship, their struggles are sometimes seen not as temporary setbacks but as personal failures.
In some homes, disagreements over money create tension and conflict. Some men have faced public embarrassment, complaints to in-laws, or even separation because they could not meet financial expectations. Constant criticism and disrespect can leave fathers emotionally withdrawn and discouraged from actively participating in family life.
Many fathers who continue to sacrifice for their children despite these challenges are unfairly labelled irresponsible simply because they cannot provide everything society expects. Sadly, some children also grow to judge their fathers by what they own instead of the sacrifices they make.
Even during Father’s Day celebrations, many fathers who quietly support their families receive little recognition because their efforts are not measured by expensive gifts or material success.
Parenting is not a competition, nor should it become a performance designed to satisfy society. A parent’s worth cannot be measured only by the size of a bank account or the cost of a graduation gift.
Instead of judging parents solely by what they can provide, we should also recognise their commitment, resilience, sacrifices, and presence in the lives of their children.
Perhaps it is time for Ghanaian society to move from demanding compliance with unrealistic expectations to appreciating compassionate parenting. When we measure growth instead of merely judging outcomes, we create stronger families, healthier relationships, and a more caring society.
WRITTEN BY:
Henry Atta Nyame
Institutional Assessment Practitioner
Editor’s note: Views expressed in this article do not represent that of The Chronicle
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